Sex Therapy
Sex Positivity
According to Queen and Comella (2008), sex positivity is a “cultural philosophy that understands sexuality as a potentially positive force in one’s life [which] allows for and, in fact, celebrates sexual diversity, differing desires and relationship structures, and individual choices based on consent.”
The World Health Organization (2006) similarly recognizes the importance of people’s right to have “pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free from coercion, discrimination, and violence” as a fundamental condition for sexual health.
Sexuality is a complex and deeply personal dimension of human experience. In my practice, I welcome, respect, and advocate for sexual diversity, variation, and difference – recognizing that there is no single way to experience, express, or understand sexuality.
Harm Reduction
Like many other activities, sexual activities can involve risks—physical, such as sexually transmitted infections or injury; emotional, such as relationship loss or infidelity; and psychological, such as grief or trauma. What constitutes an acceptable level of risk, however, varies from person to person and depends on individual circumstances, values, and choices.
From a Harm Reduction perspective, sexological interventions should focus not on restricting sexual practices, but on reducing potential harms and supporting people in making informed choices (Ditmore, 2006; MacCoun, 1998).
My role is not to tell clients what they should or should not do, nor to ask them to stop behaviors they find meaningful or pleasurable. Every person has the right to autonomy and self-determination. My role is to help clients understand and navigate potential risks, make informed choices, communicate and negotiate effectively with others, and establish clear and mutually respected boundaries around consent.
In other words: I will never yuck your yum.
Pleasure
In October 2019, the World Association for Sexual Health (WAS) adopted the Declaration of Sexual Pleasure (World Association for Sexual Health, 2019). The Declaration encourages a shift from evaluative questions such as, “Why do people continue to have unprotected sex?” towards curiosity-driven questions such as, “What makes unprotected sex pleasurable?”
Sexuality has the potential to be a source of both personal and relational pleasure. While my work may begin with addressing sexual difficulties and alleviating distress, it does not end there. The ultimate focus is on cultivating sexual vitality, pleasure, and aliveness.